This post may contain affiliate links. Please read our disclosure policy.
Apparently, I’m rather hard to shop for.
According to my roommate and most of my family members, they never know what to get me for Christmas/my birthday, and it seems to be a very real source of stress for them. This is ridiculous. As I regularly tell Logan et al., I’m extremely easy to please, and I love any and all presents that I receive!
And as Logan regularly tells me, I am a liar. This statement is usually followed by a laundry list of past presents that I have hated (i.e. tickets to Sleep No More, flannel shirts, camera equipment, etc.). Touché, Logan.
Sidenote: Hate is a very strong word, and I have never hated a present in my life. That would just be ungrateful (it’s the thought that counts, after all). However, I did “intensely dislike” Sleep No More. That shit was weird and scary, and I wasn’t nearly drunk enough to enjoy being jostled through dark rooms by strangers in masks. Sorry.

Full disclosure, I already had a perfectly good spiralizer, but word on the street was that The Inspiralizer (created by the amazingly talented Ali) blew my current Paderno out of the water. Because I am a culinary hoarder like to stay current, I’d been coveting this fancy new gadget for a while, and I was thrilled when Elliot handed me a box wrapped in red Williams-Sonoma paper on Christmas morning.
I thanked the kid for fulfilling my Christmas wish and gave him a bear hug, but I didn’t actually unwrap the Inspiralizer. We decided to skip that part of the gifting ritual since I already knew what it was, and we had more important things to do. Like annoy our mother. And watch DJ Khaled Snapchat.

(That is the first and last time I will type “zoodles.” The word makes me uncomfortable.)
With a pile of zucchini washed and ready to go, I eagerly tore the paper off the box, only to be greeted by a familiar logo. [insert shrieks of horror] It wasn’t The Inspiralizer!!! It was…
THE PADERNO. Duh, duh, DUHHHHH.


Before you get cooking, a quick note on zucchini noodles. They become mushy and release a ton of water when they’re overcooked, so you want to avoid that sad fate at all costs. Be prepared for things to move quickly, and remember that the noodles will continue cooking in your bowl (thanks to the heat from the sauce). You need to get them out of the pan when they’re just tender, which only takes about 2 minutes, max. Personally, I like to keep a big mixing bowl next to the stove. As soon as the noodles are al dente, I transfer them to the bowl, which gives me time to plate a little more leisurely without the zucchini turning to mush. (Attempting to divide long-ass noodles among four bowls with a heavy skillet in hand? Hot mess.)

The giveaway will close on Sunday, February 28 at 11:59pm EST. A winner will be chosen at random and announced in next Tuesday’s blog post. Godspeed. The giveaway is now CLOSED.
Zucchini Noodles with Portobello Bolognese: (Serves 4)

3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, divided
6 portobello mushroom caps, stems and gills removed, and finely chopped
½ cup minced carrot
½ cup minced celery
½ cup minced yellow onion
3 large cloves garlic, minced
Kosher salt
Fresh ground pepper
1 tablespoon tomato paste
1 28-ounce can crushed tomatoes (I strongly recommend San Marzano)
2 teaspoons dried oregano
¼ teaspoon crushed red pepper (optional)
½ cup fresh basil leaves, finely chopped (plus extra for serving)
4 medium zucchini
Preparing your Zucchini Noodles with Portobello Bolognese:
-Okay, just in case you’ve never handled a Portobello before, I thought I’d talk you through the prep. First, make sure you wash the caps really well. Pop off their stems, and then use a spoon to scrape off the dark “gills” on the undersides of the caps. Once they’re nice and clean, finely chop the shrooms. Boom, done.






Zucchini Noodles with Portobello Bolognese

Ingredients
- 3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, divided
- 6 portobello mushroom caps, stems and gills removed, and finely chopped
- ½ cup minced carrot
- ½ cup minced celery
- ½ cup minced yellow onion
- 3 large cloves garlic, minced
- Kosher salt
- Fresh ground pepper
- 1 tablespoon tomato paste
- 1 28- ounce can crushed tomatoes, I strongly recommend San Marzano
- 2 teaspoons dried oregano
- ¼ teaspoon crushed red pepper, optional
- ½ cup fresh basil leaves, finely chopped (plus extra for serving)
- 4 medium zucchini
Instructions
- Heat 2 tablespoons of the olive oil in a medium sauté pan over medium heat. When hot, add the mushrooms, carrots, celery, onion, and garlic. Add a good pinch of kosher salt and a little fresh ground pepper. (It will seem like a lot of mushrooms, but don’t worry—they cook down a lot.) Cook for 8-10 minutes until the vegetables are soft and the mushrooms have released all of their liquid.
- Stir in the tomato paste and cook for 2 more minutes (to cook off the bitterness in the paste).
- Stir in the crushed tomatoes, oregano, crushed red pepper (if using), and basil. Simmer gently for 15 minutes until the sauce has thickened and the flavors have combined. Taste and season with a little extra salt if necessary.
- While the sauce is simmering, spiralize your zucchini with the blade that makes spaghetti-size strands. (The noodles will be verrrrrry long, so I like to trim them into shorter strands with kitchen scissors.)
- Heat the remaining tablespoon of olive oil in your largest skillet or sauté pan. When its good and hot add the zucchini noodles. Season with salt and pepper and cook, tossing regularly with tongs for 2 minutes until just tender. Immediately remove the zucchini noodles from the pan. (You need to get these out of the pan quickly, peeps. Overcooking them will make them watery and gross.)
- Divide the zucchini noodles among 4 bowls and top with a generous amount of Bolognese. Garnish with freshly chopped basil and serve immediately. Feel free to get some grated Parmesan involved if you like.
Notes
**Don’t have a spiralizer? No worries. Make zucchini noodles with a julienne peeler, or use your regular vegetable peeler to shave the zucchini into fettucine-like ribbons.
***If you prefer, cook the zoodles right in the Bolognese. Just add the noodles to the warm sauce and toss until well combined. Immediately transfer to bowls and serve.
Like this? Leave a comment below!







Easily the very best plant-based “bolognese”!!! My mouth enjoyed every mouthful!!!
.. and ready in about 30 minutes … Bonus!!!
So thrilled to hear it was a success!!
I’ve been eating portobellos for many years and have never scraped the gills off. That seems unnecessary?
Just a personal choice, and you can absolutely skip it! I find that the gills often dye certain dishes a brown color and if not washed correctly can add a little grit/too much “earthy flavor.”
I have always loved zuchinni noodles but never thought to top them with a vegan bolognese. AMAZING idea! I featured this recipe in my recent post “30 Portobello Mushroom Recipes in 30 Minutes or Less”! http://vegan.supply/30-portobello-mushroom-recipes-in-30-mins-or-less/ Thank you!
Hilarious, love this!
wow, i love this recipe! full of vegetables and so colorful.. 😉 i have to buy spiralizer, immediately!
I’d love to spiralize carrots and onions. The zucchini noodles look delicious too!
I definitely recommend Devil in the White City by Eric Larson. Macabre, fascinating and informative, all at once!
I’m a subscriber (HilLesha@gmail.com). I’d spiralize a zucchini. – HilLesha
Hi Serena! Recommending brotherhood in Death by J.D. Robb. Paperback or Kindle–take your pick. Also I have an 11 year old daughter named Rileigh (ri-lee)that loves your recipes she even made the Le Croque Madames with me and they came out on point! Although, I don’t let her read all of your blogs the whole way through (for obvious reasons, LOL) I enjoy your well-timed and perfectly unexpected profanity as much as the next foodie fanatic. Never stop blogging! I would die! My daughter says you should pick her to give the spiralizer to because she loves “Zoodles” and she’s going to be a “famous chef like (you) one day.” She eats my food everyday, what am I, chopped liver??
Chrystal–YOU WON!!! I’m so sorry, I actually thought I posted this comment last week, and then realized when I didn’t hear from you that it hadn’t gone through! (Sorry.) When you have a minute would you mind sending me an email at serenawolf@domesticate-me.com with your full name and mailing address? I need to get this spiralizer to you and Rileigh!! xox
Sent! 🙂
We thank you!!!!